"The orange butterfly is believed to carry the message that there is life after death and that death is but a transformation like that of the butterfly."
Grieving a loved one is the most challenging. Long ago, when I lost a baby and then a parent, I never thought I would choose to work in grief in the future. We lose our loved ones, uncles, aunts, cousins, friends or grandparents. Still, sometimes it doesn't hit that hard because we are not aware of the significance of that relationship. As a child, we have been told that they are in a good place, and we don't understand what a good place means and why they have to leave us and go to that good place. Long story short, I do not have a more profound emotional attachment with who passed earlier than the first death I remember, and it's always in my thoughts when my best friend lost her parent one after another.
I can see that emptiness in her eyes, her craving for that warmth, and her loneliness. I always try to be with her in the ups and downs of her life. But I can not fill that void of losing both parents at that tender age.
Time passed a little more, and I sailed through my life. Then the first whirlpool of my life was when I lost my baby in late pregnancy; it was a shock. After that, I could not express my feelings and was pushed to live everyday life with the same sentence. She is in a good place, and as a parent, I think, what !! A good place … why and how …
Finding in my thoughts what I have missed, how this happened etc. I still feel I missed that grieving part or suffering inside. And again, when I lost my father, I still grieved him even after 17 years. Some days it feels like I am healed and accepted it. There are some days when I think it doesn't happen, that loss is still in the denial phase, and then there are days and times to relive the story or just like it happened yesterday.
But now I work with grief every other day: a new loss, a pang of guilt, a wave of anger, either delayed grief or just happened a few weeks back. I stay with them in their pain and longing and listen to their stories and grief. I tell them they do not have to follow a to-do list provided by society or religion on how to grieve and what to do.
Just live in the moment, a day at a time. It's never too late or too soon in grief. I learned how to respect and live my relationships to the fullest; I may have some regrets, but still, so many moments to cherish. Grief is the price we pay for our love, and it will never dim down or go away. It stays there. We just build a life around it brick by brick every day.
Orange butterfly
Flying around the sun
Orange butterfly
Flying through the sky
Orange butterfly
Touching me softly
Dance with me
Float with the wind
Fly with the birds
Come to my side
Just for a moment
Touch me softly
Dance with me
Float with the wind
Fly with the birds
Just for a moment
Before you say goodbye
by Zahra
A poem about Grief and Bereavement expressing Loss and Death
