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How to Break Free from the Habit of Seeking Approval


Do you often rely on others' approval to feel confident or make decisions? Do you need a push from someone to reassure you that you're on the right path? If so, you're far from alone. Many people struggle with the constant need for external validation, and while it's a tough habit to break, it's entirely possible.

The urge to seek approval can be rooted in various factors, such as early childhood experiences, societal expectations, or deep-seated personal insecurities. This behaviour can manifest in different ways, whether constantly asking for validation, people-pleasing, or going out of your way to avoid any form of disapproval.

While seeking approval can have benefits, like improving relationships or advancing your career, it becomes a problem when it's your primary source of motivation. Relying too much on others' approval can disconnect you from your own values, goals, and sense of self. Over time, this can lead to burnout, stress, and difficulty saying "no" to things that don't serve you.

If you find yourself caught in this cycle, it's essential to take a moment to reflect and assess why you crave approval in the first place. Ask yourself: What do I truly value? What keeps me up at night? How do I really want to spend my time? You can live a more fulfilling and authentic life by tuning into your genuine desires and aligning your actions with your core values and goals.

Here are some steps to help you break free from the approval-seeking cycle:

  1. Be honest with yourself: When taking on a new responsibility or commitment, ask yourself if you're doing it because it feels suitable for you or simply to win approval or avoid criticism.

  2. Set boundaries: Learn to say no when a request doesn't align with your values or priorities. Although setting boundaries can initially feel uncomfortable, it's crucial to living a more genuine life.

  3. Practice self-care: Make time for yourself and prioritize activities that bring joy and fulfilment. Caring for your own needs will help you reconnect with your inner self and strengthen your values.

  4. Focus on intrinsic motivation: Rather than chasing external validation, focus on what intrinsically motivates you. Set meaningful personal goals that align with your values and pursue them for your own sense of satisfaction, not because you want approval from others.

  5. Seek support: Breaking the approval-seeking habit is complex, and asking for help is okay. Lean on friends, family, or a therapist for guidance and encouragement.

In conclusion, while seeking approval is common, breaking free from it is essential to living a more authentic and fulfilling life. By reflecting on your values, setting boundaries, and focusing on intrinsic motivation, you can stop relying on others' validation and live in alignment with your true self.

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