Taking Action to Overcome Worry: A Lesson from My Friend's Cat

We all have big or small worries; sometimes, it can be hard to shake them off. For example, one of my friends recently came to me concerned about her cat, which had been showing some mild symptoms of illness. Although the symptoms were subtle and not severe enough to warrant a trip to the vet, she couldn't help but worry.

As I listened, I realized her worry was her lack of action. She felt there was nothing she could do, so she was trapped in a cycle of worry. But I knew that this wasn't the case. So I urged her to act, even if it was just calling the vet to ask for their advice.

To my friend's surprise, the vet was able to make a good assessment of what was wrong with her cat over the phone. He recommended that she bring the cat in, and if it was what he thought it was, he could give her something to clear it up right away. This small action on my friend's part not only helped her cat but also chased away her fear and worry.

This experience taught me an important lesson: fear and action cannot coexist. When there's action, there's no fear; when there's fear, there's no action. So, the next time you worry about something, remember to take action, no matter how small. It is the thing you need to chase away your fears and worries.

Here are some tips to help you manage your worries and take action:

• Identify the source of your worry: Understand what is causing it and try to put it into perspective.
• Break it into manageable chunks: Instead of focusing on the big picture, break your worry into smaller, manageable tasks. 
• Take action: Take small, concrete steps to address your worry. 
• Practice mindfulness: Focus on the present moment and let go of negative thoughts.
• Seek support: Talk to a friend or family member, or seek professional help if your worries interfere with your daily life.

Remember, taking action is key to overcoming worry. Don't let fear hold you back from doing something about it. With the right approach, you can turn your worries into something manageable.

Managing Your Emotional Triggers

Tips and Strategies for Coping

Emotional triggers are a part of our everyday lives. They can be sudden and unexpected, leaving us feeling overwhelmed and anxious. The situations that trigger us can vary from person to person, but what’s important is knowing how to manage them effectively.

Managing emotional triggers requires self-awareness, self-regulation, and a willingness to learn and grow. In this blog post, we’ll explore tips on managing your emotional triggers and long-term strategies to help you cope.

Short-Term Strategies for Managing Emotional Triggers

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings

The first step in managing emotional triggers is to acknowledge your feelings. Don’t compare your past and present life, as your past experiences may have left you with wounds that are still healing. Instead, focus on the present moment and respond better to your trigger.

1. Give Yourself Space

When a trigger is overwhelming, it's better to step back and give yourself space. Take a deep breath, relax, and clear your head. Your goal is to feel better and think of a better action plan for approaching your trigger.

1. Be Open-Minded

It’s essential to be open-minded and understand others' behaviour. Don’t be judgmental; try to consider their points of view. Remember that everyone is at the mercy of their triggers, and they may be feeling triggered without you knowing it.

1. Practice Positive Actions

When you experience negative emotions, practice showing positive actions. Engage in activities that will produce positive feelings, such as spending time with loved ones or doing something you enjoy.

1. Create Positive Memories

Invest in positive experiences and create positive memories. Spend time with people who help you make happy memories and focus on the good things in your life.

1. Learn to Communicate

If you still are in a triggering situation, it’s time to communicate. Talk to the person who triggered you so you can both avoid the situation from repeating. Be calm and composed, and identify what you feel.

Long-Term Strategies for Coping with Emotional Triggers

1. Be More Mindful

Being mindful is being present. Pay close attention to your feelings and live in the present. Self-regulation is important, and daily meditation and yoga can help achieve mindfulness.

1. Recognize Toxic Relationships

Recognize when a relationship is toxic and learn to let go. In a toxic relationship, mutual understanding, respect, and consideration are absent.

1. Keep a Mood Journal

Writing in a journal can be therapeutic and help you recognize trigger patterns. In addition, writing down essential information will serve as a guide for positive change and avoiding triggers.

1. Seek Professional Help

If you have a hard time detecting your triggers, seek professional therapy. Therapy is a safe and judgment-free place to learn how to manage your triggers effectively.

In conclusion, managing your emotional triggers requires a combination of short-term and long-term strategies. By acknowledging your feelings, giving yourself space, being open-minded, practising positive actions, creating positive memories, learning to communicate, being more mindful, recognizing toxic relationships, keeping a mood journal, and seeking professional help, you can learn how to manage your emotional triggers effectively and live a happier and more fulfilling life.

Embracing Pain

 The Path to Mental and Emotional Healing

Quotes:

• "Your pain is breaking the shell that encloses your understanding." ~Khalil Gibran
• "The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." - Nelson Mandela.
• "The wound is where the light enters you." - Rumi.

As a mental health professional, I have seen firsthand the transformative power of pain in mental and emotional healing. Pain is a natural part of the human experience, and avoiding or suppressing it can cause more harm than good. However, when we approach our pain with openness and curiosity, we can develop a deeper understanding of ourselves and ultimately find greater fulfilment and happiness in life.

One key to embracing pain is acknowledging and accepting it. Too often, we try to push our pain away or deny its existence, but this only intensifies our suffering. Instead, we can learn to sit with our pain and allow ourselves to feel it fully. It can be uncomfortable initially, but it's an essential step in healing.

Another important aspect of embracing pain is self-compassion. As mental health professionals, we often see clients who are extremely hard on themselves and judge themselves harshly for their pain. However, this only perpetuates their suffering. By practising self-compassion and treating ourselves with kindness and understanding, we can create a safe space for healing.

It's also essential to seek support when we are struggling with pain. It may come from friends, family, or mental health professionals. The support of others can help us feel less alone in our pain and provide us with guidance and insight as we navigate our healing journey.

  It's crucial to approach our pain with a growth mindset. Rather than seeing pain as something to be feared or avoided, we can view it as an opportunity to learn and grow. By embracing pain and allowing ourselves to be vulnerable, we can break free from old patterns and beliefs and develop a deeper understanding of ourselves and our place in the world.

While pain can be complex and challenging, it can also catalyse growth and healing in our mental and emotional well-being. By embracing our pain with openness, self-compassion, and a growth mindset, we can develop a deeper understanding of ourselves and ultimately find greater fulfilment and happiness in life. Remember, as Khalil Gibran said, "Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your own understanding."

In addition to the above tips, there are a few more things to remember when embracing pain for mental and emotional healing.

 It's essential to understand that pain is not linear. It's not something that we can "get over" or "move on from" overnight. Instead, it's a complex and often messy journey with ups and downs. Therefore, we must be patient and kind to ourselves as we navigate our pain and remember that healing takes time.

Another important aspect of embracing pain is developing self-awareness. This means becoming more attuned to our thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations and noticing how they are interconnected. By developing greater self-awareness, we can better understand the root causes of our pain and develop strategies for managing it healthily.

  It's important to remember that everyone's pain is unique. What works for one person may not work for another, and there is no "right" or "wrong" way to approach pain. We must stay open-minded and experiment with different strategies to find the best.

Embracing pain is crucial to mental and emotional healing. We can create a safe and empowering healing space by acknowledging and accepting our pain, practising self-compassion, seeking support, approaching pain with a growth mindset, developing self-awareness, and staying open-minded. "The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." - Nelson Mandela.

A Battle Within

Anger and guilt, a battle within,

A war of emotions that never seems to end.

Rage that simmers, guilt that burns,

A heart that's torn, a mind that yearns.

Anger that's fueled by past regrets,

Guilt that's born from actions we can't forget.

It's a cycle that spins out of control,

A dance of fire that consumes the soul.

The anger screams the guilt whispers low,

A constant chatter that never let us go.

It's a weight that drags, a burden to bear,

A constant reminder of mistakes we can't repair.

But in the midst of this turmoil and pain,

There's a chance for growth, to break the chain.

To understand the root of the anger and guilt,

And to find a way to heal and rebuild.

So let the anger and guilt be felt,

But let them not consume. Let them not melt.

For in this struggle, there's a chance to grow,

And to find peace in letting go.

It's a process, a journey of self-discovery,

To understand emotions and learn to recover.

With time and patience, one can find a way,

To let go of anger and guilt and find a brighter day.

Letting Go of Worries

  

How to Live Life Like a Child

Quotes:

• "Children are happy because they don't have a file in their minds called 'All The Things That Could Go Wrong.'" - Marianne Williamson
• "In every real man, a child who wants to play is hidden" - Friedrich Nietzsche.
• "To be a child is to be so fully yourself that the world is in harmony with your joy." - Unknown.
• "We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing." - George Bernard Shaw.

In this blog post, we explored the idea that children are often carefree and happy because they don't have a mental file of worries that hold them back. We also provided tips on breaking free from this mental file and living more authentically.

Remember, embracing uncertainty, practising mindfulness, challenging our beliefs, taking small steps, and playing can all help us let go of worries and live more fully in the present moment. So, let's take inspiration from children and learn to embrace the joy of living without worrying about the future.

As we grow older, we accumulate experiences, knowledge, and responsibilities that shape how we see the world. As a result, we develop beliefs, assumptions, and expectations about how things should be, which can often lead to anxiety, stress, and worry. We become more risk-averse and less willing to take chances, and our thoughts become consumed with our actions' potential adverse outcomes.

However, children often are free of these worries. They live in the moment, playing, learning, and exploring with curiosity and wonder. They don't have a file called "All The Things That Could Go Wrong." But as we grow older, we tend to create this mental file, which can hold us back from truly living our lives.

Here are some tips on how to break free from this mental file and start living life more authentically:

1. Embrace uncertainty: One of the reasons children seem to be more carefree is that they haven't yet learned to fear uncertainty. As adults, we often avoid trying new things or taking risks because we fear the unknown. However, embracing uncertainty can be liberating. It can help us break out of our comfort zones and discover new things about ourselves. So next time you're faced with a choice between the known and the unknown, choose the unknown and see what happens.
2. Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness is being fully present and engaged at the moment. It can help you let go of your worries and focus on what's happening now. Try spending a few minutes each day practising mindfulness. You can do this by sitting quietly, paying attention to your breath, or doing a guided meditation. Mindfulness can help you become more aware of your thoughts and emotions and help you break free from the mental file of worries.
3. Challenge your beliefs: Often, our worries are based on beliefs and assumptions that may not be true. For example, you may worry that you must be better, thoughtful, and attractive enough. However, these beliefs are often unfounded and can hold you back from living a fulfilling life. Please take a closer look at your beliefs and challenge them. Ask yourself if they're true, and look for evidence that supports or contradicts them. You may be surprised at how much your worries are based on false beliefs.
4. Take small steps: If you're feeling overwhelmed or stuck, try breaking down your goals into smaller, more manageable steps. Taking small actions can help you build momentum and boost your confidence. For example, if you want to start a new hobby but need help knowing where to begin, start by researching online or buying a beginner's kit. Again, taking small steps can help you get out of your head and into action.
5. Play: As we age, we often need to remember how to play. However, play is vital for reducing stress and increasing happiness. Try doing something just for fun, whether playing a game, doing a puzzle, or goofing around with friends. Playing can help you overcome worries and connect with your inner child.

In conclusion, children are happy because they don't have a mental file of worries that hold them back. However, as adults, we can learn to break free from this mental file and start living life more authentically. Embracing uncertainty, practising mindfulness, challenging our beliefs, taking small steps, and playing can all help us let go of worries and live more fully in the present moment.

How to Break Free from the Habit of Seeking Approval

Do you often rely on others' approval to feel confident or make decisions? Do you need a push from someone to reassure you that you're on the right path? If so, you're far from alone. Many people struggle with the constant need for external validation, and while it's a tough habit to break, it's entirely possible.

The urge to seek approval can be rooted in various factors, such as early childhood experiences, societal expectations, or deep-seated personal insecurities. This behaviour can manifest in different ways, whether constantly asking for validation, people-pleasing, or going out of your way to avoid any form of disapproval.

While seeking approval can have benefits, like improving relationships or advancing your career, it becomes a problem when it's your primary source of motivation. Relying too much on others' approval can disconnect you from your own values, goals, and sense of self. Over time, this can lead to burnout, stress, and difficulty saying "no" to things that don't serve you.

If you find yourself caught in this cycle, it's essential to take a moment to reflect and assess why you crave approval in the first place. Ask yourself: What do I truly value? What keeps me up at night? How do I really want to spend my time? You can live a more fulfilling and authentic life by tuning into your genuine desires and aligning your actions with your core values and goals.

Here are some steps to help you break free from the approval-seeking cycle:

1. Be honest with yourself: When taking on a new responsibility or commitment, ask yourself if you're doing it because it feels suitable for you or simply to win approval or avoid criticism.

2. Set boundaries: Learn to say no when a request doesn't align with your values or priorities. Although setting boundaries can initially feel uncomfortable, it's crucial to living a more genuine life.

3. Practice self-care: Make time for yourself and prioritize activities that bring joy and fulfilment. Caring for your own needs will help you reconnect with your inner self and strengthen your values.

4. Focus on intrinsic motivation: Rather than chasing external validation, focus on what intrinsically motivates you. Set meaningful personal goals that align with your values and pursue them for your own sense of satisfaction, not because you want approval from others.

5. Seek support: Breaking the approval-seeking habit is complex, and asking for help is okay. Lean on friends, family, or a therapist for guidance and encouragement.

In conclusion, while seeking approval is common, breaking free from it is essential to living a more authentic and fulfilling life. By reflecting on your values, setting boundaries, and focusing on intrinsic motivation, you can stop relying on others' validation and live in alignment with your true self.

Understanding the Options

How to Find the Right Talking Therapist or Counselor When Going Through a Mental Health Crisis

Going through a mental health crisis can be a complicated and overwhelming experience. It's essential to have the proper support and guidance to work through the crisis and regain a sense of stability. One of the most effective forms of support is talking therapy or counselling, but finding the right therapist or counsellor can be daunting. Here are some tips to help you find the right talking therapy or counsellor.

1. Determine Your Needs

The first step in finding the right talking therapy or counsellor is to determine what you need from the therapy or counselling. For example, are you dealing with a specific mental health condition such as depression or anxiety? Are you looking for support in managing stress or a difficult life transition? Knowing what you need from talking therapy or counselling will help you to find a therapist or counsellor who is well-suited to meet those needs.

1. Consider the Type of Therapy

Many types of talking therapy are available, each with its own approach and focus. Therefore, it's essential to research the different types of talking therapy and consider which one best fits you. Some popular types of talking therapy include cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT), which focuses on changing negative thought patterns and talk therapy, which focuses on exploring feelings and emotions.

1. Look for a Qualified Therapist or Counselor

Finding a therapist or counsellor qualified to provide the talking therapy or counselling you need is essential. Look for a licensed therapist or counsellor with experience working with the specific issues you are struggling with. It's also a good idea to check if the therapist or counsellor is a member of a professional organization, as this can indicate their level of expertise.

1. Consider the Logistics

When searching for talking therapy or a counsellor, it's essential to consider the logistics of the therapy or counselling sessions. For example, can you attend in-person sessions, or will you need to find a therapist or counsellor who offers online or telephone sessions? Are you seeking a therapist or counsellor who is available during specific hours or days? Consider these factors when searching for talking therapy or a counsellor.

1. Trust Your Instincts

Ultimately, the most critical factor in finding the right talking therapy or counsellor is whether or not you feel comfortable with them. Trust your instincts and choose a therapist or counsellor you can trust and open up to. Remember that talking therapy or counselling is a personal journey; finding a therapist or counsellor you feel comfortable working with is essential.

Going through a mental health crisis can be a complicated and overwhelming experience. It's essential to have the proper support and guidance to work through the crisis and regain a sense of stability. Finding the right talking therapy or counsellor can be a daunting task. Still, by determining your needs, considering the type of talking therapy, looking for a qualified therapist or counsellor, considering the logistics, and trusting your instincts, you can find the right talking therapy or counsellor to help you through this difficult time.

A Storm Within

Sadness and anxiety, a storm within,

A tempest of emotions that never seems to end.

Tears that fall, fear that grips,

A heart that aches, a mind that flips.

Sadness that's fueled by past regrets,

Anxiety that's born from future threats.

It's a cycle that spins out of control,

A dance of darkness that clouds the soul.

The sadness whispers, the anxiety screams,

A constant chatter that never let us go.

It's a weight that drags, a burden to bear,

A constant reminder of things that aren't fair.

But in the midst of this turmoil and pain,

There's a chance for growth, to break the chain.

To understand the root of the sadness and anxiety,

And to find a way to heal and recover, eventually.

So let the sadness and anxiety be felt,

But let them not consume. Let them not melt.

For in this struggle, there's a chance to grow,

And to find peace in letting go.

It's a process, a journey of self-discovery,

To understand emotions and learn to recover.

With time and patience, one can find a way,

To let go of sadness and anxiety and find a brighter day.

Reconnecting with Your True Self

  Have you ever felt like you're just going through the motions, trapped in a cycle of routine and monotony? Perhaps you've convinced yourself that this is okay, yet confusion lingers. You might even find it hard to remember the last time you felt alive.

This feeling of disconnection is not uncommon, especially for those of us who grew up in environments where self-expression was stifled. Take the story of M, for example. Growing up in a large family, M learned to suppress his emotions. With so many voices vying for attention, he felt there wasn't enough space to express himself. Over time, this suppression turned into a habit, leading him to shut down emotionally and remain silent. As a result, his life became a series of automatic responses devoid of genuine passion or purpose.

However, as M took the time to reflect on his life, he came to a startling realization: something vital was missing. He couldn't quite identify when or how he had learned to numb his feelings, but he recognized that this habit prevented him from truly connecting with himself and forming deep relationships with others. This realization prompted M to ask himself some critical questions:

• What do I love unconditionally?
• What is my number-one accomplishment in life?
• What do I enjoy doing when no one is watching?
• What would my life look like if there was no such thing as fear and failure?

These questions are not just for M; they can resonate with anyone who feels disconnected from their true self. If you can relate to M's experience, you must recognize that you are not alone. Many individuals struggle with suppressing their emotions due to their upbringing or other life experiences. The good news is that it is entirely possible to reconnect with your feelings and live a more fulfilling life.

Steps to Reconnect with Your True Self

1. Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness is a powerful tool for self-discovery and emotional awareness. Take time each day to reflect on your thoughts and feelings in the present moment without judgment. This practice can help you become more attuned to your emotions and understand how they influence your behaviour and decisions. Consider incorporating mindfulness meditation, breathing exercises, or simple moments of quiet reflection into your routine.

2. Journaling: Writing can be a vital outlet for your thoughts and feelings. Set aside a few minutes daily to jot down your emotions, experiences, and reflections. Journaling helps you process your emotions and provides clarity on your thoughts and goals. Consider exploring specific prompts, such as reflecting on what brings you joy or what dreams you've set aside.

3. Seek Support: There's no need to navigate this journey alone. Talking to a trusted friend or family member can offer a different perspective and comfort. If you find it challenging to process your emotions independently, consider seeking professional help from a therapist or counsellor. They can offer guidance and tools to help you work through feelings and reconnect with your true self.

4. Engage in Activities that Bring You Joy: Reconnecting with your true self often involves rediscovering what makes you happy. Make time for hobbies, sports, or activities that bring you joy. Whether painting, hiking, dancing, or cooking, find activities that allow you to express yourself freely. Surround yourself with people who uplift you and support your passions.

5. Explore Your Values: Reflect on your core values and what matters most. Understanding your values can serve as a guiding compass in your life, helping you make decisions that align with your true self. Consider creating a vision board or writing a list of your values to visualize what you aspire to be and do.

6. Practice Self-Compassion: As you embark on this journey of self-discovery, remember to be kind to yourself. Emotions can be messy, and feeling vulnerable as you navigate your feelings is okay. Embrace self-compassion and recognize that healing takes time. Celebrate your progress, no matter how small, and remind yourself that it's okay to ask for help.

 Remember, there is always time to reconnect with your emotions and live a more fulfilling life. By reflecting on your feelings and seeking support, you can learn to live more authentically and find greater meaning. This journey is not a race; it is a personal exploration. Embrace the process, and take it one step at a time. Your true self is waiting to be discovered, and the more you nurture this connection, the more vibrant and meaningful your life will become.

Authentic Relationships

 

Prioritizing Values over Ego and Cultivating Self-Respect for Deeper Connections

We often desire fulfilling relationships and friendships, secure our dream jobs, and become the partners, workers, parents, and citizens we aspire to be. However, problems arise when our ego drives us instead of our deepest values. For example, we may wish for others to willingly submit to our wants or cooperate, react to others rather than act in our long-term interests, and desire power over value in our close relationships. These ego-driven behaviours can cause our egos to become more significant than our values.

Our ego is a combination of how we prefer to think and feel about ourselves and how we want others to perceive us. It is a feeling of superiority over others and obstructs open-mindedness by rejecting other personalities and viewpoints. While self-respect involves maintaining our confidence and boundaries when mistreated, seeking favourable reactions from others is just the icing on the cake. We must focus on what we want to give rather than what we want to take to feel authentic. True self-value comes from the amount of value we create, and the same applies to self-respect. We need to give value and respect to others to receive it, as opposed to self-centred behaviour, where we prioritize our desires and wish to be treated well regardless of how we treat others.

When it comes to love, we often approach it from a self-centred perspective, thinking we have a hole inside that someone else must fill. This illusion makes us vulnerable to manipulation and exploitation as we seek lovers with tiny cups to fill our perceived "holes." People with big cups- a lot to give- tend to look for others with big cups so they can receive as much as they give. Those with small cups seek lovers with big holes who may settle for whatever little they can give. Therefore, big holes attract small cups, leading to self-abuse and abuse of others.

Examples of ego-driven behaviour in relationships:

• Wanting     to be right all the time and refusing to compromise in arguments
• Expecting     your partner to prioritize your needs above their own
• Feeling     threatened by your partner's successes or accomplishments
• Refusing     to apologize or take responsibility for your mistakes
• Comparing     your relationship to others and wanting to appear superior

Tips for prioritizing values over ego in relationships:

• Practice     active listening and try to understand your partner's perspective
• Be     willing to compromise and find solutions that work for both of you
• Celebrate     your partner's successes and accomplishments
• Take     responsibility for your actions and apologize when necessary
• Appreciate     the unique aspects of your relationship without comparing it to others

The importance of self-respect in relationships: 

Self-respect is crucial in maintaining healthy boundaries and relationships. It involves recognizing your worth and setting clear standards for how you want to be treated. Without self-respect, it's easy to fall into people-pleasing patterns or allow others to mistreat you, which can lead to resentment and unfulfilling relationships.

Authenticity in relationships: 

Being authentic in relationships means being true to yourself and expressing your thoughts, feelings, and values honestly. It involves being vulnerable and open to connection while setting boundaries and communicating your needs. Authenticity allows for deeper, more fulfilling connections, fostering trust and mutual respect between partners.

Challenges to authenticity and self-respect: 

It is essential to recognize that prioritizing values and authenticity in relationships can be challenging. Societal pressures, past experiences, and personal insecurities can all impact our ability to be authentic and set healthy boundaries. Therefore, practising self-reflection and seeking support from loved ones or a therapist is essential to overcome these challenges.

Overall, prioritizing values over ego, practising self-respect, and being authentic in relationships can lead to more fulfilling connections with others. By recognizing our worth and setting clear standards for how we want to be treated, we can cultivate more profound, meaningful relationships based on mutual respect and understanding. In conclusion, it's essential to prioritize our values over our ego, focus on what we can give, and seek authentic connections rather than filling perceived "holes." Genuine self-respect comes from giving value and respect to others, leading to fulfilling relationships and a more fulfilling life.

12 Unique Life Resolutions/Habits to Improve Your Life Today

 As we go through life, it's easy to fall into certain habits and routines that can hold us back from reaching our full potential. Of course, we all know that we should exercise more, eat healthier, and manage our finances better, but there are other habits that we can cultivate that can be just as valuable.

Here are 12 unique life resolutions/habits that can help you improve your life today:

1. Intentionally laugh every day - Laughter has been proven to reduce stress, lower blood pressure, and exercise muscles. But, more importantly, it can change your outlook on life and bring you joy and hope. So make it a point to practice laughter daily, especially on tough days.
2. Practice solitude - Find time to be alone in quiet regularly. No books, no music, no outside voices. Just you alone with yourself. This habit can help you discover things about yourself you never knew and give you a better understanding of who you are.
3. Make gratitude a discipline - Express gratitude to someone or something each day. Gratitude refocuses our attention away from what we don't have and redirects it towards what we do. As a result, it naturally causes contentment and generosity to spring up in our lives.
4. Slow down - Take the time to slow down, whether while driving or in your daily activities. Life is not a race; by slowing oy the journey and being more present.
5. Fast one by slowing down day each month - Fasting has been practised in nearly every religious tradition, teaching us self-control, self-denial, and sacrifice. It can also heighten our senses and give us a better appreciation for the things we have.
6. Adopt a "Do it Now" mentality - Procrastination can result in unnecessary stress in our lives, so try to cultivate a habit of doing things right away instead of putting them off.
7. Eat more vegetables - Eating more vegetables is a simple and measurable approach to achieving weight loss goals. Additionally, it gives us more energy, more self-esteem, and more opportunity to fight off illness and disease.
8. Read classical books from different centuries - Books that have lasted centuries contain timeless human truths that can still apply today. Rediscovering how men and women approached life hundreds of years ago can give us a new perspective and help us grow.
9. Remove pornography - Pornography can limit our capacity to appreciate the natural world and its people. By sacrificing the temporal pleasure of pornography, we can live a life that can better appreciate the simple joys of the people and relationships around us.
10. Go to bed earlier - Changing just the first hour of your day changes the remaining 23, and the best way to change the first hour is to get a good night's sleep. In addition, going to bed earlier may surprise you with how it naturally benefits other areas of your life.
11. Give to a charity - Pick and donate to a cause you believe in. The act of giving can bring joy not only to yourself but to others as well. If you can spread that much joy by filling out a check, just imagine the joy you'll spread if you volunteer your time and talents.
12. Date your spouse - Take your spouse/partner on a date at least once a month. This can help you have fun, reconnect, and strengthen your union. It doesn't have to cost much, as plenty of low-cost or free date ideas exist.

These unique life resolutions/habits may not be mainstream, but they can be just as valuable in helping you live a life with full potential. 

Navigating Loneliness

 Loneliness is a complex and multifaceted emotion that can be caused by various factors. It is a state of mind characterized by isolation, emptiness, and a lack of social connections. Loneliness is not only an emotional state but also a social one, as it is often the result of a lack of social connections or a sense of belonging.

One of the most common causes of loneliness is social isolation. People who lack regular social interactions and connections with others may feel lonely. This can happen for various reasons, such as geographical distance, retirement, or losing a loved one. Social isolation can also be caused by mental health conditions such as depression and anxiety, making it difficult for people to form and maintain relationships, leading to feelings of loneliness.

Another common cause of loneliness is grief and loss. Losing a loved one, whether through death or other means, can lead to feelings of loneliness. This is because the person may have been a source of emotional support and companionship, and their absence can leave a void in one's life.

Moving to a new place can also cause feelings of loneliness. Starting a new life in a new city or country can be challenging and may cause feelings of loneliness, especially if the person is leaving behind a close-knit community. This can happen when someone moves away for work or study or even if they relocate with their family.

Symptoms of loneliness can vary from person to person, but some common signs include the following:

Persistent feelings of sadness, isolation, or emptiness

Difficulty sleeping or oversleeping

Lack of interest in social activities

Difficulty concentrating or making decisions

Thoughts of self-harm or suicide

Managing loneliness can be challenging, but several strategies may help. Some effective methods include:

Building social connections: Joining a club, group, or class that aligns with your interests can be a great way to meet new people and form friendships. It's also essential to make an effort to maintain existing relationships, whether through regular phone calls, text messages, or social media.

Volunteer: Volunteering for causes you care about can be a great way to connect with others and feel a sense of purpose.

Online communities: There are many online communities and forums where people who feel lonely can connect with others who understand and can relate to their experiences.

Therapy: A therapist or counsellor can help you understand and cope with your loneliness and develop strategies for building connections and improving your relationships.

Self-care: Engaging in activities that promote well-being, such as getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, and practising stress management techniques like mindfulness and yoga, can also help manage loneliness.

It is important to remember that loneliness is a normal emotion everyone experiences at some point. However, when it becomes chronic, it can harm our mental and physical health. Loneliness has been linked to various mental health issues, such as depression and anxiety, as well as physical health issues, such as an increased risk of heart disease and stroke. If you or someone you know is struggling with loneliness, it is essential to seek help from a mental health professional. There are many effective strategies for managing loneliness, and with the proper support, people can learn to build connections and improve their relationships.

Living Authentically

How to Break Free from Seeking Approval

Are you someone who constantly seeks approval from others? Do you need someone to push or tell you you can do it? If so, you're not alone. Many people struggle with the need for external validation, and it can be a challenging habit to break.

The need for approval can stem from various sources, including childhood experiences, cultural norms, and personal insecurities. In addition, it can manifest in different ways, such as constantly seeking validation from others, people pleasing, or avoiding disapproval at all costs.

While seeking approval can be beneficial in certain situations, such as building relationships or achieving career success, it can also be problematic when it becomes the sole motivator for our actions. If we constantly seek approval from others, we may lose touch with our values, principles, and goals. We may also become overwhelmed, overworked, and unable to refuse others' requests.

In this situation, taking a step back and evaluating why you seek approval is essential. Ask yourself questions like: What do I value? What keeps me awake at night? How do I prefer to spend my time? You can live a more fulfilling and authentic life by listening to what you genuinely want and aligning your actions with your values, principles, and goals.

Here are some tips for breaking the cycle of seeking approval:

First, be honest with yourself: When you take on a new commitment, evaluate whether you are doing it because it's right for you or because you want to gain approval and avoid disapproval.

Set boundaries: Learn to say no when a request doesn't align with your values or goals. Setting boundaries can be challenging, but it's essential for living a more authentic life.

Practice self-care: Make time for yourself and prioritize activities that bring joy and fulfilment. Self-care can help you reconnect with yourself and your values.

Focus on intrinsic motivation: Instead of seeking external validation, focus on intrinsic motivation. Set meaningful goals for yourself and work towards them because they align with your values and principles, not because you want someone else's approval.

Seek support: Breaking the cycle of seeking approval can be challenging, and it's okay to seek support from friends, family, or a therapist.

In conclusion, seeking approval from others can be a challenging habit to break. Still, it's essential for living a more authentic and fulfilling life. By reflecting on your values, setting boundaries, and focusing on intrinsic motivation, you can break the cycle of seeking approval and living a life aligned with your true self.

Understanding and Managing Depression: Symptoms, Causes, and Tips

  

Depression is a common mental health condition that affects millions of people around the world. It is a complex condition that various factors, including genetics, environment, and life events, can cause.

Symptoms of depression can vary from person to person, but some common signs include the following:

• Persistent feelings of      sadness, hopelessness, or emptiness
• Loss of interest in      activities that were once enjoyed
• Changes in appetite or      weight
• Difficulty sleeping or      oversleeping
• Feelings of guilt or      worthlessness
• Difficulty concentrating      or making decisions
• Thoughts of suicide or      self-harm

Managing depression can be challenging, but several strategies may help. Some effective methods include:

• Therapy: Seeing a mental health professional, such as a therapist or counsellor, can help individuals understand their feelings and learn coping strategies.
• Medication: Antidepressant medication can be prescribed by a doctor or psychiatrist to help alleviate symptoms of depression.
• Exercise: Regular physical activity is an effective way to improve mood and decrease symptoms of depression.
• Social support: Talking to friends and loved ones about your feelings can help you feel less alone and more supported.
• Self-care: Engaging in activities that promote well-being, such as getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, and practising stress management techniques like mindfulness and yoga, can also help manage depression.

It is important to remember that depression is a treatable condition, and seeking help is an essential step in recovery. If you or someone you know is experiencing symptoms of depression, please reach out to a mental health professional or another trusted source for support.

Also, it is essential to note that depression should not be ignored or stigmatized. It is a severe health condition that requires proper care and is not a sign of weakness or a character flaw. With the proper support and treatment, people with depression can lead fulfilling and happy lives.

Feelings of sadness, hopelessness and a lack of motivation characterize it. I have struggled with depression in my life. It began in my teenage years and has been a comes and goes ever since. At its worst, depression has made it difficult for me to get out of bed in the morning, find pleasure in things I used to enjoy and connect with others. It has also made me feel like I am a burden to those around me and not good enough.

Depression can have a variety of causes in life events. For me, it has been a combination of various factors. The symptoms of depression can vary from person to person. Still, common ones include persistent sadness or hopelessness, loss of interest in activities, changes in appetite and sleep patterns, difficulty concentrating, and thoughts of suicide. People with depression may also experience physical symptoms such as fatigue, headaches, and body aches.

Managing and coping with depression can be challenging, but several strategies can be helpful.

The most important thing is to seek professional help. A therapist or counsellor can help you develop coping strategies and provide support. Medication can also be effective in treating depression. Antidepressant medication can help balance brain chemistry and be used in conjunction with therapy.

Another critical strategy for managing depression is making lifestyle changes. Regular exercise, healthy eating, and getting enough sleep can all help improve mood and energy levels. It is also essential to engage in activities that please you, such as hobbies or spending time with friends and family.

Lastly, it's essential to seek support from loved ones. Talking about your feelings with someone you trust can be incredibly helpful. It's important to remember that depression is not a sign of weakness or a character flaw. It is a reality that can be treated, and being kind and compassionate towards yourself and others is essential.

In conclusion, depression is a severe mental health disorder affecting millions worldwide. It can have a variety of causes, including genetic predisposition, traumatic life events, and changes in brain chemistry. The symptoms of depression can vary from person to person. Still, common ones include persistent sadness or hopelessness, loss of interest in activities, changes in appetite and sleep patterns, difficulty concentrating, and thoughts of suicide.

Managing and coping with depression can be challenging, but several strategies can be helpful. Seeking professional help, making lifestyle changes, engaging in activities that please you, and seeking support from loved ones are all essential steps in managing and coping with depression. Remembering to be kind and compassionate towards yourself and others is vital.

Orange Butterfly

"The orange butterfly is believed to carry the message that there is life after death and that death is but a transformation like that of the butterfly."

Grieving a loved one is the most challenging. Long ago, when I lost a baby and then a parent, I never thought I would choose to work in grief in the future. We lose our loved ones, uncles, aunts, cousins, friends or grandparents. Still, sometimes it doesn't hit that hard because we are not aware of the significance of that relationship. As a child, we have been told that they are in a good place, and we don't understand what a good place means and why they have to leave us and go to that good place. Long story short, I do not have a more profound emotional attachment with who passed earlier than the first death I remember, and it's always in my thoughts when my best friend lost her parent one after another.

I can see that emptiness in her eyes, her craving for that warmth, and her loneliness. I always try to be with her in the ups and downs of her life. But I can not fill that void of losing both parents at that tender age.

Time passed a little more, and I sailed through my life. Then the first whirlpool of my life was when I lost my baby in late pregnancy; it was a shock. After that, I could not express my feelings and was pushed to live everyday life with the same sentence. She is in a good place, and as a parent, I think, what !! A good place … why and how …

Finding in my thoughts what I have missed, how this happened etc. I still feel I missed that grieving part or suffering inside. And again, when I lost my father, I still grieved him even after 17 years. Some days it feels like I am healed and accepted it. There are some days when I think it doesn't happen, that loss is still in the denial phase, and then there are days and times to relive the story or just like it happened yesterday.

But now I work with grief every other day: a new loss, a pang of guilt, a wave of anger, either delayed grief or just happened a few weeks back. I stay with them in their pain and longing and listen to their stories and grief. I tell them they do not have to follow a to-do list provided by society or religion on how to grieve and what to do.

Just live in the moment, a day at a time. It's never too late or too soon in grief. I learned how to respect and live my relationships to the fullest; I may have some regrets, but still, so many moments to cherish. Grief is the price we pay for our love, and it will never dim down or go away. It stays there. We just build a life around it brick by brick every day.

Orange butterfly

Flying around the sun

Orange butterfly

Flying through the sky

Orange butterfly

Touching me softly

Dance with me

Float with the wind

Fly with the birds

Come to my side

Just for a moment

Touch me softly

Dance with me

Float with the wind

Fly with the birds

Just for a moment

Before you say goodbye

by Zahra

A poem about Grief and Bereavement expressing Loss and Death

Art of saying ‘NO.’

 

You learned how heavy our mind’s workload is; thousands of thoughts run through our heads every hour. In our journey to build a happier brain, we must consciously generate more optimistic thoughts. But our minds are still in a primitive age and inclined to think of negative reviews more than positive ones. So, what do we do about it? The solution is to create another brain out of our brain: a brain that does the ‘storage’ work on paper, where you can dump out whatever is going on in your head and make your head empty once again. This process is called journaling. Having a separate paper brain outside will empty your head and allow you to control your thinking process by directing your thoughts in the way you want. Journaling is considered the most beneficial kind of writing. “Expressive writing”, often connected with journaling, is incredibly therapeutic. The study found that participants who wrote about traumatic, stressful, or emotional events were significantly less likely to get sick and were ultimately less seriously affected by trauma than their non-journaling counterparts. You can distance yourself from your thoughts and emotions if you consistently start seeing them on paper. Precisely, your conscious memory and RAM (just like a computer) should not be used to store the running thoughts; instead, they should be used to create new ideas.

Writing empties the conscious space so that much better work can be

undertaken by the mind, such as generating fresh ideas and thoughts.

Moreover, you can now see what’s going on more objectively. You can

distinguish if something is just a fearful, negative thought or if it is really

worth paying attention to all.

Journaling also makes you more grateful and happier because you can see all the good things happening in your life now.

What should you write in your journal?

What one should cover in one’s journal is as follows:

What are you grateful for regarding your previous day?

What are your specific accomplishments?

What are your particular desired areas of improvement?

What are the top five things you must do today to take your life

to the next level?

Journaling is a technique to bring happiness. Here is how it works:

Sit in a quiet place, and take twenty to thirty minutes to think about what you expect your life to be one, five, or ten years from now. Visualize a future for yourself in which everything has turned out the way that you’ve wanted. You have tried your best, worked hard, and achieved all your goals. Now, write down what you imagine. In a sense, this writing exercise puts your optimistic ‘muscles’ into practice. Even if thinking about the brightest future for yourself doesn’t come naturally at first, it may get there with time and training. Amazing things can come about as a result of writing. Also, researchers recommend a 20-minute replay exercise. He says writing for 20 minutes about a positive experience is a GREAT way to boost your happiness. I’ve told you many approaches to journaling, as I didn’t want you to limit what has worked for me only. Everyone is different, so you may prefer a different technique to express your thoughts and emotions. This journaling exercise aims to empty your head and help you see your thoughts and feelings from afar. Again, ten minutes of daily journaling will start to enhance the level of your clarity and bring a smile to your face. You become more focused and action-oriented since you can see clearly on paper and identify what matters and is worth ignoring. 

by Zahra 

Optimism in the Storm

In the face of life's darkest storms,

When the winds of change blow wild and warm,

When the road ahead seems rough and long,

Remember to keep your head held firm.

For in the midst of every trial,

There lies a glimmer of a smile,

A spark of hope that can ignite,

A fire that burns with all its might.

So when the clouds obscure the sun,

And all around is dark and done,

Think of the rainbow that awaits,

Beyond the tempest and the straits.

For every night, there comes a dawn,

And every seed must crack and spawn,

So hold on to your faith and dreams,

And let your heart and spirit beam.

Life is full of ups and downs,

But with each step, new hope abounds,

So let your optimism guide you,

And in the end, you'll surely thrive.

So keep your head held high, my friend,

And never let your spirit bend,

For in the end, the sun will shine,

And all will be yours, the sweet sunshine.

Giving Advice is not Advisable

 As human beings, we are always ready to be helpful, telling around what to do or our personal stories about how we do something, and it turns out all right. So by sharing our experiences, we advise friends and family on every occasion. It's second nature for some people to tell others what to do and choose even a simple scarf or dress. Darling green is your colour. You must wear green when you want to choose purple as we feel like wearing purple and that green 'advises' fill the wardrobe with three different greens. Life is full of bits of Advice or reviews about 'which school', 'what diet' or where to go and 'what to eat. Earlier, this Advice came from parents, friends, or dear old aunts in the neighbourhood, but now it is everywhere on social media or online shopping reviews. All this controls what we think, what we like, and who we are.

I have one central theme in my training: a counsellor giving Advice is not ethical, "You are not there to give a solution; Your job is to be empathic and listen. You have to be genuine". The person sitting opposite the seat asks you 'what you think about it and what you must do. Pause and repeat, of course, in your head boundaries, ethics And then, sorry, I am not here to tell you what to do. What do you think about it? Someone and something constantly probes us as the therapist, pushing us sometimes to say something, but hardcore training makes it firm. All those long essays we write and all those books we read, our tutors and supervisors make every effort and peel that layer off from us, and we always say we are not here to tell you what to do.

On the other hand, I am on the other side of the therapist's thoughts. I was feeling stressed, and I called everyone, and they told me I must see a therapist. They are trained and help you. So my idea of therapy was for someone to give me a tailor-made solution or a pill, and then everything became rosy, and my therapist asked me what I thought about it.

No one ever asks me what I think. My parents told me, do not to do it, or my teacher, 'Why don't you do this in that way? Then society, this is the norm, and this is not.

Ok, let me think …

Why are my eyes getting teary? What's wrong with me. Why am I crying about it? It's simple; just someone first time asks me what I think about it. It's not a big deal.

Why is the room so quiet…

Why is my therapist not saying anything? Where is the clock? Is time up? Can I run without saying goodbye and never return?

But …

What about the solution I need. Who will help me …

Oh, it's me who has to help myself. Why did someone never tell me about it? Its simple answer is in me, which is what I think about my issues, not someone else. So I sipped some water, looked up and said I needed to slow down and guess what I wanted, then what someone else told me to do.

Therapist, you look so calm, as if you have discovered something. Would you like to talk about it?

You just told me you must slow down. What do you mean by it…

You are beginning to be compassionate towards yourself. We are almost approaching the end. Why don't you tell me what you think of the self-care routine so you feel less stressed?

by Zahra